Repercussions
by Venka le fay
Summary: This fanfic was partially written and suggested to me by Glazier Blue. It's a spin off based off the Weapons Origin flashback scene in one of my earlier fics. Please enjoy. (Fic reposted due to editing.)


Repercussions

 **A/N This is a fic concept that was written by Glazier Blue and sent to me via email. She came up this after reading a Flash Back moment from one of my earlier TMNT fics, "Reclaiming": Part 2 of the hostage trilogy. Please enjoy this spin off site story.**

Disclaimer: I do not own TMNT in any shape or form. Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles belongs to Nickelodeon as well as it's respective creators. This fic was written purely for entertainment.

 **[seven years ago]**

Donatello stepped out of the Dojo holding his new bo staff in his hands. The young turtle didn't know why this weapon had chosen him, and disappointed was an understatement for how he was feeling as he watched the other three ten year old's happily showing off their weapons. He could hear the metallic singing of the Leo's katana as they sliced through the air, the rattle of Michelangelo's nunchucks as they spun fast and ever free, and even the sharp scrape of Raphael's sai as he twirled them round and round in his hands. How could he face his brothers knowing the weapon that had chosen him was…

"Hey look guys! Donnie's weapon is just a stupid stick!" Raphael laughed aloud at the sight of his immediate younger brother's new weapon, Michelangelo also chortled mirthfully along with his older brother. Leo on the other hand didn't jump Donnie's defense, but he did try to make some effort in preventing himself from laughing.

"Wow, that's a …a great weapon to have." Leo answered in a lame attempted at making his second brother feel better about his new weapon.

"Yeah, great for batting practice." Michelangelo agreed with a laugh.

"Watch out, or he'll cause you to trip." Raph said before he fell into another round of belly laughs. Leo also couldn't help letting out a few giggles but the laughter died in his throat when he noticed Donnie looked like he wanted to cry. Splinter came up behind his third son and placed a fatherly hand on the ten year old turtles shoulder. The stern look on his face telling everyone that he was anything but pleased with their behavior.

"It would be wise for you three to remember," Splinter scolded. "It isn't the weapon, but the integrity of the wielder that truly matters."

"But come on Sensei, a bo staff." Raph said. "In the history of lame weapons, the bo staff has to be one of the lamest."

"Oh really then perhaps you would like a demonstration of what this lame weapon is capable of." Splinter stated as he calmly took the wooden-pole from Donatello and ran it in a seemingly complex sequence of jabs and spins before ending in a sharp strike that seemed aimed at Raphael's throat. This earned some amazed looks from both Leo and Michelangelo, Raph was also impressed, but wasn't about to show it.

"Yeah, but Sensei," Raph said. "This is Donnie we're talking about here; he's not exactly the most effective at fighting. In fact compared to the rest of us, he's the weakest one."

"Oh, I didn't realize you thought so poorly of your own brother." Splinter sarcastically answered as he handed the wooden staff to Donatello once again. "Perhaps I must be wasting my time by even training him since he's useless according to your expert opinion."

"You're not wasting your time sensei," Raph said. "I just feel that maybe he should be better fighter is all."

"Raphael, step forward." Splinter answered. Raph obediently but reluctantly did as his master said. He knew he was in trouble and was about to be punished. But what was even more painful than a randori session with Master Splinter, was seeing Donnie running off in the direction of the dormitories and slamming the door behind him.

* * *

"Donnie?" Leo asked as he knocked on the door. He tried opening the door to his bedroom moments before to apologize for poking fun, but found it locked. "Please let me in…I'm sorry I laughed about your weapon, I know it's not what you were hoping for…"

"Go away, Leo!" He heard Donnie screech from the other side of the door. "I want to be alone right now!"

"Okay…" Leo said feeling somewhat hurt by the fact his own brother was shutting him out of his own room. "I'll be watching TV in the pit when you feel ready to talk." Silently he padded away down the short stoop of stairs from the dormitory and jumped into the pit and sitting into one of the bean bag chairs. Turning on the TV, Leo settled down to watch cartoons. However his mind wasn't focused on the show…he kept glancing at the dormitory as though expecting to find Donnie ready to accept his brother's comfort.

Raph groaned as he came out of the dojo rubbing his head and the bottom side of his shell. Mikey followed after him also rubbing his lower shell.

"I don't see why I needed to be spanked!" Mikey whined.

"Because both of you were making fun of Donnie." Leo said as he gave up on the TV and gave his brothers a pointed look.

"You were laughing too!" Raph pointed out.

"And I feel bad for doing so." Leo griped. "But you two were the ones that were actually teasing him." Raph was going to retort when the door to Donnie and Leo's bedroom opened only for Donatello to come out and place Leo's bedding outside hall. He regarded his brothers only a moment with a hurt expression before he returned to the bed room slamming the door shut behind him.

"Looks like a certain someone has the couch tonight," Raph joked and laughed in response. Though he quickly stopped laughing when he realized he was the only one who found anything funny. "What? You guys didn't think that funny?"

"Leo...dude." Mikey said placing a comforting hand on Leo's shoulder. "Donnie just needs his space right now. Give the guy some time to chillax…let's try again around dinner time…"

* * *

With the exception of the moment where he left Leo's pillow and blankets neatly folded outside the door. Donnie did not come out of his room for the rest of the day. Finally before dinner the three of them stood outside the room prepared to say how sorry they were for laughing.

"Donnie please open the door?" Leo tapped on the wood softly.

"Yeah come on dude, we are sorry." Mikey said incessantly knocking on the door frame. "I think your bo staff is really cool. And I'm sure you could learn to do those moves like master splinter was doing." Mikey continued to tap, but only silence followed.

"Oh for god sake Donnie," Raph yelled as he began to get fed up with his brothers reclusive behavior. "Stop been such a baby and come out - oof"

"I don't think that is what Splinter meant by saying sorry Raphie." Leo said sternly as he jabbed his elbow into Raph's ribs.

"He too sensitive, how is he supposed to be a ninja if he's just going to sulk and cry like a little girl every time someone pokes fun at him?" Raph growled as he rubbed the side that had met Leo's sharp elbows.

"Dude, really not helping..." Mikey said as put his ear to the door. He could hear some fumbling around, as though Donnie was purposely trying to be quiet. Though he could hear the heavy breathing that does come from crying. Checking the door he found it was still locked.

"Come on let's leave him. He'll come out when he is hungry." Raph quickly strolled off but only because he was keen not to let his brothers see guilt eating at him.

"It's time for dinner, Don Don. Do you want me to bring you some?" Mikey said through the door. Still nothing. Mikey looked disappointed, but walked off down the stairs after Raphael. Leo lingered behind a moment.

"Hey Donnie," Leo said. "For the record…I don't think you're weak or useless, neither does Mikey. None of us think you're a lousy fighter, not even Raph…you know him…he likes to talk out of his butt, and at times he says things he doesn't honestly mean." Leo shrugged uncomfortably but he still tried to sound reassuring. "Please come out, we're all sorry about making fun of you." Leo heard something that sounded like a sob before it was silent again. Leo shook his head feeling worse than before.

* * *

Donnie wiped away tears from his eyes and snorted back some mucus as he listened to Leo. While he believed his brother was truly being sincere, he could not forgive any of them for the humiliation about his weapon. He glared at the bo staff that stood propped against one wall as he remembered the events from earlier that morning.

* * *

{Flashback}

 _"I believe the four of you are ready to receive your weapons." Splinter stated at breakfast that morning. The four boys all gasped in excitement._

 _"_ _Yes, we finally get our own weapons!" Mikey cheered. "I call dibs on the nunchucks."_

 _"_ _Patience Michelangelo…" Splinter said. "This is a big day for you my sons. When a ninja receives their weapon, it truly begins to define who they are as warriors. However the weapon chooses you, just as much as you choose it, as you train these weapons will become an extension of who you are and as long as you trust in it, it will guide you down the paths you are destined to take. But as you are still young, I must impress upon you that these are actual weapons not toys, so they are extremely dangerous and can be deadly if used improperly. Do you understand?"_

 _"_ _Hai, Sensei!" The four turtles said._

 _"_ _Very well then…when you are finished with breakfast, wait outside; when I call your names you will enter to choose your weapon." Splinter said before he left the kitchen and entered the Dojo._

* * *

 _Leo, Raph, and Mikey all happily talked about what weapons they hoped they would get. Leo was intrigued by the katana and mimed the two sword style of Miyamoto Musashi, a historical swords man that Leo held great admiration for. Raph of course wanted the sai since he liked being up close and personal in battle. And Mikey was hoping for some of the more erratic weapons such as the kusari gama._

 _Donnie however remained quiet on his desired weapon. All his life he had struggled to be like his brothers as they trained. But no matter how often he trained he had always felt like something was holding him back, so it always seemed like he could never keep up. During runs despite the fact he was the tallest and had the longest legs, he would always find himself running behind his brother rather than with them. He also would get winded easier than they did, which meant the others had to push him to catch up…or they had to stop to wait while he got a chance to catch his breath. This was his one chance he could get something that proved he was worthy of being a member of this family and team. But the question what was sort of weapon did he want…they were so many to choose from. Despite the fact he was the second youngest member of their family, he was the tallest of the four of them. So perhaps the weapon that chose him to could be a long sword such as the nodatchi or tachi, or maybe the nagamachi or the ninja-to. Maybe even those hooked swords, those always looked so awesome. Once he had his weapon, his brothers would have to treat him like member of the team and not someone who is just there to slow them down._

 _After a matter of moments, Splinter called Leonardo in for his weapon. He was in the dojo for five minutes before carrying a set of katana blades. Next it was Raph's turn and much like Leo,Raph returned five minutes later with a pair of sai. Donnie was so excited he was close to bouncing up and down as he waited for Splinter to call him as the next person._

 _"_ _Michelangelo…" Splinter called. Mikey at once eagerly got up and raced to the dojo. Donnie on the other hand was confused… shouldn't he have been the next one. Why was Mikey going before him…the Purple masked turtle was so confused he didn't even bother to notice Mikey come out of the dojo with a two sets of nunchucks which could be converted into Kusari Gama. Nor did he notice that Splinter had finally called for him._

 _"_ _Donnie…" Leo called getting his second brothers attention. "Master Splinter wants you." Getting up Donnie joined Splinter in the dojo._

* * *

 _Inside the Dojo the ninja master had arranged out an arsenal of Japanese weapons, various swords and blades such as the kama sickles and butterfly swords, to pole arms such as the jumonji-yari and other weapons such as the tetsubo. Splinter did not speak as he allowed his son to look over each of the weapons and decide which one he desired._

 _Donnie immediately picked up a ninja-to sword hefting the weight of the blades in his hands a moment. They felt heavier than he expected, but he felt this had to be the one. In response Splinter took the blades and demonstrated how the use it before handing the blades to his son._

 _The purple masked turtle tried to repeat the same movements his father had performed, unfortunately the blade didn't respond to him in the way he wished. The weight of the weapon felt off making his movements feel clumsy._

 _"_ _It seems, the weapon does not choose you." Splinter stated as he observantly stroked a string of fur that descended from his chin like a beard. Donnie picked up a set of Kama sickles; once again Splinter demonstrated the action that he wished his son to repeat. At first Donnie felt things were good, the weapon wasn't as heavy as the swords and he seemed to perform the action rather well. Until one of the blades flew from his hand and embedded itself in the wall just above Splinter's head._

 _"_ _That one has not chosen you either." Splinter observed. Weapon after bladed weapon, Donnie was determined to find the one that would define where he stood on the team only to find that none of them wanted him as their wielder. And with every failure Donnie was becoming more and more frustrated._

 _"_ _Maybe I'm not ready for a weapon, Sensei." Donnie said trying to keep from breaking down into tears. All the weapons that he had wanted had rejected him. Splinter calmly put a gentle hand on his distraught sons shoulder._

 _"_ _Perhaps you are looking at the wrong sort of weapon my son." Splinter said comfortingly before he walked to a wall close to the pole arms. "I have observed your fighting skills ever since the four of you were children, and I have noticed that you possess an entirely different style of fighting then your brothers. Perhaps…perhaps this one will choose you as its master." Splinter lifted up one weapon that rested horizontally along the wall. Turning he revealed what looked like a giant stick in his hands. Donnie looked at the weapon as though he expected there to be more to it. It couldn't be that the only weapon that would choose him was a giant stick. Maybe his weapon had already been chosen by one of his brothers which had to be the reason why he couldn't find it._

 _"_ _It has been ten generations since there has been a bojitsu master in my family." Splinter proudly said. "In addition to bojitsu you would also master the arts of Sojitsu and Naginatajitsu." As Splinter said this, he pressed a hidden switch on staff causing a curved spear blade to spring forward. This however didn't make Donnie feel any better…historically naginatajitsu was a skill taught to women. He didn't need any further reason for Raph to tease him and call him a girl._

 _"_ _In all honesty Sensei, I don't think that's the one I'm meant to have." Donnie said fervently. His weapon had to be more than just a wooden stick…it had to be._

 _"_ _There is only one way to find out…" Splinter said a smile. "It isn't the coolness of the weapon in battle. The weapon that chooses you will become part of you…weapon and wielder in one entity. But it is the true power of your virtue and the unity you share with your brothers that should truly shine. Now watch carefully."_

 _Splinter began to spin the wooden staff slowly at first, but gradually grew faster. "Keep your hands near your center and your movement's fluid." Soon it almost appeared as though the staff appeared to spin in front of his open palms before it abruptly stopped and Ninja handed the staff to his disciple. Donnie took the weapon hesitantly and looked at it dubiously._

 _~Okay…all I need to do is try it. Perhaps it could turn out that this weapon doesn't want me after all and I can be free to choose something else.~ Donnie thought to himself as he began to follow the same directions that Splinter has shown. To his surprise and his dismay the staff responded to him as though it had sensed that it was meant to be his. What could he do? This was not the weapon he wanted, this couldn't possibly be the weapon that had chosen him. What if he messed up on purpose, perhaps if he did that, Splinter would have to see this wasn't meant to be his weapon. But what if Splinter could sense he messed up on purpose? The wise rat wasn't blind or stupid...there was no way he wouldn't be able to notice if he deliberately messed up. The final conclusion was clear…this was his weapon…it had chosen him as its master._

{End Flashback}

If the humiliation he felt had been just this one time, he wouldn't have made a big deal about it. However Donnie had heard comments and jokes his whole life in regards to this. Often he would emotionally let them slide after all kids especially siblings teased each other…it was part of life. But there would also be times where they would also get on his case about not training hard enough…because he was being too slow at something…treated like he had nothing to offer because no one understood or cared what he had to say. And those were the moments that stung the most.

"You need to try harder!" Leo would say.

~I'm doing the best I can…~

"Come on man, get your head in the game!" Mikey would complain.

~My head is in the game…~

"Geeze Donnie," Raph would scoff. "Are you even bothering to train?"

~More then you know…~

Everything he did, it was never good enough. It always do things faster, do things better. When something broke down in the lair, he was expected to drop whatever he was doing and fix it. And even then it was met with very little appreciation.

And the times he was able to work peacefully in his lab, Mikey would majority times come in and bother him with his incessant talks about some random thing. Be it something he saw on TV or whatever thought that had popped into his head at a given moment. Donnie would tolerantly listen to his brother prattle on since Mikey wasn't meaning to be distracting, he just wanted attention. But occasionally he would play around with his older brother's tools and chemicals or worse yet his experiments. Donnie couldn't even count how many computer viruses and trojans that he had to purge from his desk top computer the last time Mikey had played around on it.

The one occasion when he actually had tossed Mikey out of the lab, Leo stormed into the lab five minutes later and starts calling him out as being selfish and mean. And that whatever the reasons Donnie had for tossing Mikey out was nothing more than some accident that he was building out of proportion.

In reality, the only reason Donnie had tossed Mikey out of the lab to begin with, was so he could try and salvage a computer program that had taken him over a month to create, and yet somehow took Mikey had taken less than five minutes to mess up. Yes, it was an accident… Yes, Mikey did apologize... And yet… he personally wasn't allowed to be upset? He wasn't allowed to be upset that Mikey had destroyed something that anyone with common sense would have known was not something to play with.

Even now with the bo staff…this was supposed to be a milestone in his life. He was supposed to have the weapon that would be his…the one that was meant for him. He did admit that yes there had been times he had to wonder if Splinter even cared for him at all, but he quickly banished those thoughts. Splinter was strict and not always straight forward with lessons he wanted them to learn but he wasn't heartless. He never would have suggested the bo staff as a possible weapon for him if there wasn't truth behind it. After all the wise ninja master had observed the way they fought since they began training. So he would have known where one of his sons was struggling or subtle differences between fighting styles.

He had no idea how Splinter sensed it would choose him, why the bo staff chose him, or even what sort of purpose it had planned but that was beside the point. This day…the day he chose his weapon was meant to be a glorious time...it was a coming of age for them all. And the very people he looked toward…the people he had known and trained with his whole life…they ruined everything with their comments and laughter...particularly Raph when he told Sensei to his face that he was the weakest member of the team. That was just as bad as openly stating that Mikey was retarded because his mind functioned differently.

Wiping away tears one last time as a look of determination crossing his face, as he stood up from where his back rested against the door. He knew Master Splinter would never approve, but he couldn't stay here…not if he was going to be treated like the family joke by his brothers. If they didn't feel he was needed, then there was no reason for him to stay. Packing up what few belongings he had into an old leather messenger bag and rolling his pillows and blankets together into one carry bundle. He opened the door to peek outside a moment to check if his brothers or Sensei were about. The main room was empty which was good, he didn't want to see them…if he did he knew he wouldn't be able to leave. Quickly penning down a note and leaving it for his family to find, Donnie carefully opened the door and slipped out of the lair before he could find some excuse to stay.

~Sayonara Minna…~ (Goodbye Everyone) Donnie mentally said as he raced off into the sewers.

* * *

Splinter later joined them at the table as his sons tucked into their meal of worms and algae. None of the brothers said a word as they ate or even dared to look up.

"Where is your brother?" Splinter inquired noting the empty stool beside Leonardo.

"He's locked himself in his room and won't come out." Leo finally looked up to meet his father's sad gaze before he returned to his food. "We've tried talking to him, but he still to upset about earlier."

"Did the three of you apologize?" Splinter asked, though the question was more directed at Raphael. Raph nodded in response to the question though he kept his eyes focused on his dinner.

"No you didn't…" Leo said to his hot headed brother. "Mikey and I apologized."

"Yeah dude," Mikey agreed. "You just yelled at him."

Raph scowled at older and youngest brothers before he looked up at Splinter. "He got an apology! What more does he want...me to get on my knees and beg forgiveness."

"Might help…" Mikey commented.

Raph however choose ignore Mikey's comments. "Donnie needs to toughen up and quit messing about in that stupid lab of his. Or better yet…choose who he really is as a member of this team and this family..." He said but the look on his father's face suddenly made him stop what he was saying.

"So you know what makes a successful team Raphael?" His father wasn't really asking a question but Raph nodded sure of himself.

"Yeah...Muscle and skill is what wins the battles." He stated almost smugly.

"No!" Splinter snapped back, making them all jump in their seats. "A team does not consist of one single line of defense Raphael." Splinter started but then stopped himself. His sons were only ten years old. He didn't wish to place too much on their young minds, but they needed to know. Each of his sons had their own gifts to bring to their family.

Leonardo was tactical…he showed the most promise as a potential leader. And was the one who dedicated most of his times to the art of ninjitsu both as a shining example to his younger siblings and also because he felt this was something that was expected of him. Splinter himself had also been the same way in his beliefs that his family's legacy…its history as a ninja clan was meant to endure.

Raphael was the strongest of his four sons. He was fierce and protective of his siblings. His very being radiated that anyone who dared to cause harm to his brothers would have to deal with him personally. Splinter identified with Raphael in many ways as he also had been prone to bursts of anger in his past. And while he has struggled and been seduced by the power that his anger has brought him…he had also learn the hard lesson that anger was not a friend in battle.

Michelangelo was athletic and contained more raw talent than his brothers combined. And there was lots of potential for him as a ninja. However he also does not focus which did hinder his potential. Splinter also could identify with his childish son as he also enjoyed the freedom to create and imagine, such as the Yokai friends Oroku Saki and himself had dreamed up as children. However there were also times where he would make light of things that were meant to be serious.

Donatello was the one son who Spinter had found the most fascination and difficulty with. This isn't to say he wasn't an easy child...he had been easier then rest of his brothers had been. Most of the time he was quiet and kept to himself, but he also had a curiosity that was insatiable. It was as though he yearned to know and to understand the world about him...how everything worked. And that helped him develop strategies to assist in the success of a mission. However this also gave him a bad habit of being in his head at crucial moments, which was one of the reasons he was slower than his brothers in combat scenarios. The boy had pacifistic qualities as well. Qualities that made him appear weak, but in reality those same qualities were what made Donatello strong.

While his intellect was an extraordinary gift, Donatello's intelligence was a heavy burden on the child as well. Because of his intellect, Donatello did have trouble relating to his brothers at times. As such he'd often sit and observe his brothers rather than join them…it was as though he felt he had no right to join them in their games. Splinter couldn't begin to imagine how lonely the boy truly was in not having people he could truly relate to on an intellectual level. While the Rat Master provided what he could as a means of an education for his sons. There had still been more than one occasion where Splinter felt saddened that he could only provide such a meager existence to his children, particularly the great difficulty he had in keeping his son intellectually stimulated.

Outside of Ninjitsu, Splinter had exhausted all that he could possibly teach his sons in general. And gradually they have been turning their interests to the world outside the sewers. The four turtles had been very good about staying within the sewers thus far, though Splinter did have his suspicions about Raphael. But he knew, one day they would insist on leaving the shelter of their home and see the world of men with their own eyes. They understood the world outside was dangerous and wouldn't freely welcome them because of what they were as he had told them this time and time again. But there were even worse dangers then just the humans of the city. One day…one day his sons would face the Shredder. He knew that was inevitable and so he prayed that they would be ready when that time arrived…but secretly he hoped that day would never come.

Wanting his sons to enjoy their youth while they still had it, he had hoped to leave this lesson when they were older. But it seemed this lesson in team building was going to have to happen now.

"A solid team is created like a tower of a building." Splinter stated. "First it needs a solid foundation and many layers supporting the others around it. Every layer- no matter how insignificant as it may appear- is just as important as the stronger layers, because a team must stand or fall together. If the enemy saw everything of what we are on the front line then we would have no defenses behind us to fall back on. However we are not just a team…we are a family and like a family to live in harmony a team must be able to rely on one another completely. This can only be done if everyone plays their own role within the structure of this family."

Splinter paused to make sure he still had his son's attention. "Do the three of you know what those roles are?" Splinter asked a measured sternness in his voice. The three turtles shook their heads in response. "First there is the role of the leader. I do not yet know who will take this position. But that turtle will have the fortitude to carry the team and possess the strength of the heart and body. Then there is always a front line that represents the physical strength and spirit of the team. However from a small age I have always known the role Donatello shall play, because he is already there. He…is your foundation!" The rat master paused again letting that matter of fact statement sink in. The brothers looked at one another confused before turning back to him.

"Donatello possesses skills that I have not taught him, but you have all depended on and shall continue depend on… for your every survival." Splinter continued "His strength lays in his mind. If you are protecting a throne, then he will be the power behind it. Donatello is able to understand things none of us, not even I can comprehend, such as computers and explosives. Already we have hot and cold running water and electricity thanks to him. There is also his knowledge on medical practice. I have taught you all first aid, but Donatello has gone beyond that enabling him to treat dangerous wounds and help sooth away illness. To know what must be done to prolong your survival. As limited as things are, he is our medic. The point I am making my sons is the most dangerous of enemies are the ones that you fail to see and Donatello… is practically invisible, even to you three I am afraid."

"In other words, Donny is a secret weapon." Mikey said almost with glee.

"So if one of us is the heart and the rest of us are the rest of us are the muscle and spirit, he is the brains. Is that what you mean sensei?" Leo asked. The rat almost smiled, happy to see that his sons were catching on.

"You see not everything depends on physical strength alone, dependence also must come from strength of the heart, spirit, and mind. Donatello's physical strength will develop in time, but what of his heart? I think you all know how advanced he is on that. Who do you all turn to when you are in pain?" Splinter raised his eyebrows at them but none of them could meet his gaze.

Raph looked at the floor feeling more shame than he had ever felt in his short life. Donnie's kind heart may not be much good in a fight but his passive nature was one thing that could calm any of them down in any situation when they were upset. Whenever Leo and Raph got into their arguments, their purple masked brother would mediate it if he could…otherwise he would look after Mikey until things simmered down. He was a person they felt they could confide in if there was something they wanted to get off their shells, but didn't want it spread to the rest of the lair. He was the person who would sit with them when they were injured or sick until Splinter's healing tea put them to sleep.

"Regardless of this," Splinter sighed. "Donatello is your brother, this may not be the first time you have hurt him…but today you have made him feel excluded from the team and our family. Feelings such as this are never really forgotten. Even if he does learn to forgive you…he would never forget this day. And someday there will be repercussions for your actions?"

"Come on Sensei, it's not that bad." Mikey said trying to wave off some of the guilt their father had poured on them like a bucket of ice water. "Any bad feelings D has would just wash off his back after a while."

"Not everything, my son." Splinter gravely said. "Certainly not today…The first day a ninja has been chosen by their weapon is a defining moment in their lives that can never be replaced. Now all Donatello shall remember of it is humiliation caused by those closest to him." The turtles all quickly looked up at their father in sadness but also in horror realizing what they had done. "I think you owe your brother more than just a simple apology, don't you?" the three brothers nodded.

"Can I speak to him alone sensei?" Raphael guiltily looked up; Splinter nodded as his red masked son left the table. What kind of brother was he? A bad one…that's what…but he didn't want to see the guilt he felt as he slowly left the table with a plate of food for Donnie. Master Splinter sure did know how to lay the guilt trips on thick.

* * *

Raph stood outside Donnie's room for five minutes before plucking up the courage to knock on the door. He was just going to have to choke on his humble pie, if it meant not completely spoiling such an important day in his younger brother's life.

"Donnie" he knocked softly. Still there was no answer. Raph sighs loudly. He was already feeling bad enough and he didn't at all like it, but he just had to make things right. "I'm really sorry bro. I - I was….wrong…about making fun of you about your weapon. But hey…I mean maybe you'll be this really awesome Bo master sometime in the future." The words tasted like a sour lemon on his tongue, but there was still no response from the room.

"Damn it Donnie!" He growled. "I'm giving you an apology...what do I have to do to make this up to you?! Please just tell me that! Raph looked at the floor feeling more shame than he had ever felt in his short life. I will do anything!" Raph leaned against the door when he suddenly fell forward. It was unlocked and open. The plate fell from his hands as he caught himself on the door frame... the plate of worms and algae spilling over the floor. Raph quickly looked up into his brother's empty room.

"Donnie?" Raph repeated expecting him to jump out from a dark corner, but he didn't. Quickly getting up he looked about the dark room as he suddenly had a bad feeling in his stomach. Raph calmed his nerves, perhaps he was just over reacting and Donatello had just slipped out to use the toilet? Raph picked up the plate, scraping up what he could of the worms and algae from off the floor and was just about to check the restroom on the way back to kitchen when he noticed a piece of paper on Donnie's bedding. That feeling in Raph stomach suddenly returned and knotted as he picked it up.

 _Dear Guys and Master Splinter_

 _If your find this note, you have likely noticed that I am gone. I know this will come as some shock to everyone, but I feel it's for the best that I leave. Everything I've done with this family I've done with the best of intentions, and all that comes from it is disappointment and further trouble for this family. It has been made abundantly clear from the moment I received my weapon…I am not a required member of this team. I wish I was a better ninja and better brother, and not someone who is seen as the butt of the family jokes. Take care of yourselves…_

 _Donnie_

For a moment all the air seemed to disappear from the room. Raphy eyes were fixed on each word Donnie had written, hoping beyond all hope that he had read it wrong. It was like he was waiting for Donnie to jump out and shout "GOT YA!" He was praying for it, but as Raph waited he seemed to slip into some kind of panic stricken trance. He only realized that when the hand holding the note started shaking.

"Oh no…" Raph said as a horrified guilt filled look crossed his face as he cursed himself. "No…no…Stupid, Stupid, Stupid, What have I done?!" Plate forgotten, Raph didn't remember running from the dormitory but he was suddenly in the kitchen, out of breath."

"What's wrong, Raphie?" Mikey asked in concern as Raph struggled to get his breathing back to normal.

"Donnie…" Raph gasped as he in hailed breath of air. "He…he's…" Leo was at Raph's side when he noticed the note that Raph held in one of his hands. Leo calmly took it, his eyes widening in shock before his blue eyes also clouded in grief as he read it.

"Donnie's run away from home." Leo informed Splinter and Mikey.

"What!" Mikey said as he jumped from the table and read the note himself. But the look on his father's face was a look none of them would never forget. When he said there would be repercussions for today, they didn't think it meant right now.

"It's all my fault…" Raph said when he found he could speak "If I hadn't teased him about getting that stupid stick as a weapon…maybe he wouldn't have run off."

"We're all to blame for this, Raph." Leo said. "I don't think this has to do with just today…that has to deal with all the times we've crossed the line and today was the last straw. He was still locked in the dorm room before I came here for Dinner, so there is a chance he might not have gone far."

"But we have multiple ways to get into and out of the lair and into the sewers." Raph pointed out. "He could be anywhere by now. If we search the sewer system we would probably checking every tunnel until we're fifteen years old."

"I will be going with you my sons." Splinter said. "I also know all of you by your scent. But we need to hurry; the sewers are cold this time of year."

* * *

Rain had started to fall as Donnie decided to stop for the night. Part of him felt this was a mistake, after all he wasn't even a genin yet…he was still a ninja in training. What hope did he have of survival? But he had made his choice…he couldn't change it now.

~They'll be better off without me.~ Donnie thought.

Settling down a ledge he rolled out his blankets and closed his eyes.

* * *

Splinter had been able to find the tunnel Donnie had left through, but the search had been fruitless and brief due to the rain. They needed to return prep the lair as the water began to pour into the sewers.

Once all the rugs in the dojo were rolled up and put against the wall, and the TV was trucked into the lab. The three turtles were told to get some sleep with the promise that they would resume the search for their missing brother in the morning. And if they must do something they were to pray that Donatello was somewhere safe and that he would be found.

* * *

Unfortunately the rain continued the morning and showed no signs of stopping. And to make matters worse the thunder and lightning arced across the sky almost seeming to break the heavens in two.

Donnie had woken up cold and wet as the water of the pool had risen higher than expected soaking his blankets and pillow. His stomach also growled with hunger as he hadn't eaten the night before and his body was demanding food. Wringing what water he could from the blankets he rolled them up and continued walking. He could feel the cold make him tired and sluggish he needed to find some place warm and dry, if he stopped he knew he would fall asleep…and that would mean death.

* * *

"Come on Sensei," Raph said. "One of your sons is out there in the cold and you want us to stay here."

"I'm with Raph." Leo said speaking up. "Rain or no rain, we need to be out there looking for Donnie."

"It's too dangerous my sons." Splinter said as he went to the Dojo to meditate. "I want Donatello home as much as you do, but I don't want to lose you three either. I'm sorry, but until the rain stops…none of you are not to leave the lair. Is that clear?!"

"Yes, Sensei." Leo and Raph said in unison. As soon as Splinter was in the dojo, Raph clinched his fists angrily.

"I don't care what Sensei says about the danger." Raph snarled. "I'm going out and finding Donnie…I'll do it myself. If Sensei or Mikey ask where I've gone…make up some excuse."

"No…we can cover more ground if we go together." Leo insisted.

"Yeah, but it's my fault Donnie ran off. So…I'm the one who needs to make it right again." Raph said. Before more arguments could be broached, he took off down the tunnel.

"Be safe…Raphie." Leo softly called back, all the while praying that his both of his brothers would return home safe.

* * *

Donnie let out a whimper as boom of thunder rolled across the sky. He had found a tunnel mouth that was fortunately dry, unfortunately it didn't do anything about the cold or his hunger. Having nothing else, he had wrapped himself in his damp blankets which did little to alleviate the chill.

"Leo…Raph…Mikey…" He whispered, hugging his knees to his chest as he shivered. His stomach growled in displeasure at the hunger it felt. Lying down along the rim of the open mouth of the tunnel he pulled his damp blankets tighter around him. As he closed his eyes he imagined he could hear one of his brothers calling for him.

* * *

"DONNIE…" Raph called as he used a sai to scratch out the mark he made on the tunnel he just investigated. The water was swiftly flowing just below the ledge he stood upon, eerily reminding him of the river of sewage that had nearly taken Donnie from them years before. Glancing back the way he came he used his Sai to scratch another mark into the tunnel wall to help guide him back to the lair once his brother had been found.

He paused to rub some warmth back into his arms. The weather was getting colder which meant they would get snow before long. This meant he needed to find Donnie and soon or else…he didn't want to think that…

"Donatello…" Raph called his brothers full name, hoping that would garner a response as he scanned the ground. He suddenly stopped as he noticed the shape of foot prints in the sewer grime. Three toed feet similar to his own and they looked fairly fresh. Maybe a two or three hours old, marking the spot he followed the footsteps praying they led to his missing brother. After what felt like an hour of walking Raph found himself in a chamber, rain water was pouring down from overhead storm drain creating a water fall effect against one wall. The only exit was a large pipe tunnel that led to the surface.

Overhead lightning flashed, lighting over a bundle of something that rested in the mouth of the large pipe. The red masked turtle could make out something green with purple. He at once rushed forward and found his brothers sleeping form. Checking his brother pulse, he found it was slow as though he was going into a hibernative state, but the body also shivered under his touch…

"Stay with me, Donnie." Raph said as he started to gather his brother's body into his arms bridal style. "I'll get you home…" Donatello wasn't particularly heavy, but his height in comparison to Raph did make carrying him somewhat awkward. He almost wished he had allowed Leo to come along with him. The sprint back to the lair seemed like a blur, before he knew it he was on the floor of lair, his chest heaving as he tried to return his breathing to normal. He could hear Leo yell something to Mikey, before the blue masked boy was at his side.

"Oh gods he's freezing cold…" Leo said as he ran a hand down the side of Donnie's face. Mikey came back with several ragged quilts and blankets, before he also crouched by his brother in concern. The damp blankets Donnie had were torn away and replaced with the dry warm ones.

"What's going on here?" Splinter asked in concern as he approached, before they landed on Donnie's prone form. Raphael handed Donnie over to his other two brothers. Leo and Mikey immediately carried their unconscious brother into the pit where he would be warmer. Mikey cradled his brother's head in his lap, while Leo was trying to massage some warmth back into his brother's flesh.

"I left the lair Sensei," Raph said as he stood up. "I know you said that we were to say here...but I couldn't just wait for the storm to pass in order to find Donnie. The rain would have washed away anything we could have used to find him, and by the time we did there would have been little we could have done to help him. I disobeyed you and if I must be punished for that, so be it. But I don't regret doing what had to be done."

"I did give you an order to stay here," Splinter said as he stroked his beard, but his stern expression was replaced with a grateful smile. "But, you are right. Obeying my order did mean that Donatello would be forsaken for the sake of the three of you. It's because of you...Raphael, it is thanks to you that I still have four sons this night and not three."

* * *

Donnie's eyes slowly fluttered open to find himself in the pit of lair with his brothers curled around him like they had when they had been small. Sitting up he was confused to find himself in the lair. He didn't remember arriving at the lair, all he had remembered was the rain and the cold. And vaguely he remembered his name being called by one of his brothers.

"How are you, my son?" Donnie jumped in surprise as Splinter's kind hearted and gentle voice unexpectedly sounded behind him.

"Sensei…" Donnie said as he stood up an approached his father and teacher. Splinter regarded the boy a moment before he tenderly placed on the child's shoulder and guided him towards to Dojo. Donnie obediently followed…he knew he was going to receive some discipline for running away from home. Better to get it over with before his brothers awoke, then have them bear witness to it.

Once they were inside the Dojo, Splinter settled down under the tree. Donnie obediently knelt down as well waiting for Splinter to yell at him, tell him how disappointed he was. But Splinter surprisingly Splinter did none of this.

"Do you remember when you were a small boy that you had a dream where you feared your brothers didn't want you to be their brother any longer?" Splinter asked.

"I guess so…" Donnie said searching through his memory for that time. "It's been so long ago."

"And yet that is a fear that still plagues you now," Splinter pointed out. "Though it has evolved to your brothers seeing you as a disappointment to their team and this family. Is this truly how you see yourself?"

"I try master," Donnie said as he fought back tears that threatened to fall from his eyes. "I really do try to follow all you've taught me. But it always feels like it's never enough, not to them...so when we were getting weapons, I thought that I would get one that truly could make me stand out. One that really proved who I could be to my brothers…and instead the Bo staff chose me. And then Raph started teasing me about it so I just felt it was better I left, that way…that way I wouldn't be subject to their comments about how I'm weaker than everyone else."

"Ah…but what others perceive as a weakness in you, my son, is in reality a strength" Splinter said. "To be strong is more than just the physical, true strength comes from within. The greatest weapons you hold, you've held all along...your mind, your compassion, your tenacity…your thirst for knowledge. In many ways you hold traits of all three of your brothers, like Leonardo you are determined to do all that is good, like Raphael you strive to protect those around you both family and innocent alike. And like Michelangelo you are creative and are able to do things that don't always appear to make sense at first."

Donatello wanted to comment, but his stomach let out a loud growl announcing that it had been over a day since it had seen nourishment. "I believe it's time you had some breakfast." Splinter said as he got up from where he knelt to get up and get the morning meal started. However before leaving the Dojo he pulled his third son into a warm hug. "You have never failed to make me proud of you, my child." Splinter said as a fatherly smile crossed his whiskered face. "Even if there are times where you feel you have disappointed yourself, never doubt that I am proud to be your father." Donnie returned the hug in kind, but all too soon the moment passed and Splinter left the room.

"Sensei…" Donnie asked. "May I ask why the Bo Staff chose me as its master?"

"Why that is a journey you will have to find for yourself, my son." Splinter smiled. "There are still qualities about you that are still waiting to be discovered. And when they are...I know they will be amazing."


End file.
